Thought Disorder

Monday, September 28, 2009

I'm just 1 MCQ paper away from the end of a 3-week torture! :) And saying hello to 5 precious days of slacking! Must fully utilise the upcoming slacking opportunity.

An overview of prelims: Not too good so far. Lack of drive and focus. Extremely panicky during papers especially when I have (many) questions which I'm unsure of. Uh Econs CS today wasn't great too; I left half of a 4 mark question blank because I didn't know how to answer the question! ): And I didn't manage to complete one essay because there was too much content to write and I didn't have sufficient time. Plus Gary told me that my indicator is wrong -_- This lowered my morale severely. And it was completely destroyed after today's CS. Math was bad, but I hope it won't turn out too bad from what I perceive to be 'bad'. Sigh, I shall not mope anymore!!! I'll just need to brace myself for multiple hits next week. Shall not brood over my failure already... I totally deserve it given the amount of hard work I put in.

Yeah anyway I've been off paracetemol for 2 exam days already (including tomorrow, 3) and I totally survived without even getting a slight hint of headache or neckache anywhere. Awesome. I luvvvv the Chinese physician. I really heeded her advice. So it's getting better already but I better monitor my condition closely still! :)

Okay I better go practise some MCQs now and I'll watch the last episode of EFHL later yay!! :) :) Seriously I should restrain my crazy self from watching dramas during exam period because it is highly detrimental to my exam performance and also my mental health. Ugh

3:26 PM

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The end seems so far in sight

It's funny thinking about how I used to dread A's a lot. Whenever I thought about sitting for the exams for real, my heart will pound insanely, and I'll be grateful that it's XX years away or XX months away. Now, with barely 50 - 60 days left to the start, I just want to quickly end the pain. I can't imagine 5 more weeks of suffering, plus restlessly prancing around the house after prelims, and probably 3-4 more following weeks of mixed emotions - anxiety, uncertainty and restlessness juxtaposed against anticipation and excitement. By then, I'd most probably be entrenched in a state of delirium, sapped dry of energy.

I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH even though I may not be in top form nowadays with the incessant pains around my body. Still, it's like finishing a freaking long and enervating race that I've been constantly running for 1 over year! I can't exactly see the end now, but I can feel its presence. It's inching closer and closer to me.

Anyway, I just spent 2 whole solid hours using the computer!!! (And am still using actually) Guilty. But if not, I'd have taken a nap. So there, an opportunity cost. My life seems to be going downhill these days, in all aspects. It's for real and I'm highly non-appreciative of this. FML!! Such a downward spiral is partly, or probably majorly, caused by stress hormones like

Cortisol,

Norepinephrine, let's do organic chem yay!

and several other clashing factors. Ughhhh this feels terrible. Someone needs to teach me how to relax right now. At this very moment!!! >:(

Okay I've decided to ps CSC since I know for a fact that studying like a mad dog for it also does not deliver the A. (You know that?) Yeah. I'll try to smoke my way out this time, and hopefully the stealthiness is cleverly masked. Haha.

Anyway next Friday will be a relaxing treat to look forward to!!! Yay! ;) (THIS IS ONLY A PRELUDE HAHA) High-time I killed my killjoy self. I need a huge hot bowl of soup or a hot bowl of Shin Ramyun right now because it's raining and I'm famished. I like it when it is raining when I'm at home (without my migraines duh) Now it's time to get back to studying Math :( Bad shit.

5:26 PM

Monday, September 14, 2009

~~Goodbye Loony!~~
I can't believe my failing printer with its failing ink levels actually successfully printed 33 pages worth of loony. Actually it printed more than 33 pages because either it printed the wrong stuff or I suddenly found errors in some particular pages. Ugh. Oh well at least it succeeded!!! I now buy Zhiqian's idea of "trusting your printer" even when it seems to be super cui. HAHAHA

I'm going to go loony over new stuffs when prelims officially start for me tomorrow T_T May all go well!

1:34 PM

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'm so damn screwed for prelims - inadequately prepared, highly unmotivated, high marginal propensity to slack and choked full of ennui. I can just kiss everything goodbye. BYEBYE!!!!!! (Unless a miracle happens) I frkn need to be motivated when it's merely 2-3 days away, sh*t

12:12 AM

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Reality Check

It just suddenly dawned upon me that I really need to work damn damn damn damn damn hard now because so many people are depending on me :'(

It really sucks to be me

1:16 AM

About

Felicia studied in Dunman High School, loves elmo, is a major drama addict and is a cake lover. She has quit coffee even though she loves it.